~Bathroom time...you'll never have peace in the bathroom again. Doesn't matter how old they are! Babies will start crying, toddlers want to come in with you, school-aged kids miraculously need to pee as soon as the door is shut and teenagers won't let you in.
~Food...your new staples will be: pasta, peanut butter, cereal, bread. Do not even attempt to include: sauces, vegetables, complicated meals or meals where different colors and textures touch each other.
~Pain...nothing has ever or will ever hurt as much as seeing your child sad or in pain. It sucks, nothing makes it better and it breaks your heart every time.
~CVS/Walmart/the mailbox...all of these places are now way too far away and take way too long. Snow boots and car seats and screaming kids. By the time you get to CVS you'll need to buy more Motrin!
~ Homework...you think it's your kid's problem? Oh no, believe me, by 7 you'll be trying to remember how to do (even very simple) logic problems and write a simple sentence correctly!
~It's scary...from the moment you get that positive test, to the first steps, the first day of school, to the every other moment in their lives, you are scared. What if they get hurt? What if no one likes them? What is every second of every minute of every day of their life isn't perfect?
~A drink is whatever you have...when you've had a long day and all you need is one simple drink to relax, the 6-8 week old bottle of beer or the slightly funny tasting last glass of wine in the maybe too old bottle left in the fridge will have to do. Because apparently it's not proper to bring your small child into the packie. Lol
~You have an expiration date...It's nice to think during that first moment you hold them that they're going to need you forever for every aspect of their life. But it's not true. Every step along the way you have to give up a piece of them so that they can do it alone. They learn to walk and no longer need your hand. They learn to read and no longer need to be read to. They grow up, they make their own choices, and all you can do is hope you taught them something along the way.
~You have no control...no matter how much you think you are running the show, the truth is they are. You don't say things like "I really wanted to cover the living room in glitter and paint today but I guess I'll have to go get my hair done instead." Nope, it's more like "I had an appointment to get my hair done today, scheduled for the last 4 weeks, but after a glass of spilled milk, a marker in the laundry, crayon on the wall and a cute pleading face I'm staying home and playing with my daughter."....they're in charge and it's totally worth it!